I'm So Vain I Think This Nursery Rhyme Was Written About Me

                

Collage made with befunky.com; photo credit clockwise from top left to @Stylish_Gurl, @_infinityheart_, @adarkcloud, @nessrine19baga, @merrymikaela, and @thenataliage on WeHeartIt

                             
                 
There was a little girl who had a little curl.  And when she was good, she was very, very good.  And when she was bad, she was very, very bad.

That's me.

In my time around the sun, I've been called, and I quote:

1. The nicest girl in school

Photo credit to @nessrine19baga on WeHeartIt

2. The nicest girl you'll ever meet

3. Nicer than Gandhi

4. A model student for all to emulate (big words)

5. Unusually unique and gifted


And, also, and I repeat:

6. Aggressive

7. Grammar Nazi

8. Bossy

9. Sneaky Interjector of Sly Malicious Side Comments

10. Boy-crazy                              


11. Scary-eyed (What? Probably something to do with #10)


So.  I guess I've got some 'splaining to do.


*insert deep breath* I've made my mama cry, probably more times than I can count or even know about.  I've likely made my baby sister cry, like back when she made me a Valentine's Day card and the first thing I commented on was her improper use of "your" (still makes me cringe—and I mean hurting her feelings, not the Grammar Nazi thing! Come on, I'm not THAT malicious!).  I've made a beautiful boy cry.  I wouldn't be surprised if I even made my daddy cry a time or two.   I'm just that bad sometimes.

But, on the flip side—There have been times that I made the people nearest and dearest to me very, very happy.  I've seen my mother beam at me many more times than I've seen her cry.  I made a beautiful boy cry for love, for joy.  I've held my sisters when they were weak.  I've made my friends smile big, and laugh.  I've made teachers boohoo.  I've even made random strangers and neighbors go all misty-eyed.

Being as "special" as I am, it's no wonder that I can have such strange effects on folks.  And I take a strange sense of pain and pride from that dynamic.  But what I—and everyone, really—need to remind myself is that I am not good or bad, it is my actions that are good and bad, just like my therapist daddy told me when I was little.  Because even this slight change in language can make a huge, heee-uuuge difference for the psyche and self-esteem of a little girl with a little curl.  And, above and beyond that, that today he tells me—advancements, like in other sciences, are also always being made in psychology, people—that my feelings and even events that take place in my world are neither good nor bad, they just "are".  He tells me to just "be".  I may be semi-Buddhist, and you, reader dear, likely aren't, but I challenge you to consider what these words mean and whether they could be true for you.  Because if they're not, that's no big deal.  But I'd be tickled pink if you took a moment to think about it.

So, that's all to say that I am not good nor bad, no matter if I have a little curl or am a little girl (I don't, and I am-ish).  I just . . . "am".  And there's nothing wrong with that.  Or right.

Okay, that last part was a little weird.  Maybe a little "bad".

Hmm, this change in language is going to have to find its own quirky way through my quirky writing style.  Bear with me, loves.



Love ya,

Eve 💖

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